Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
