Dual....:-)
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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