my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
