Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
