I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
