It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
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She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
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I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.