Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.