sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
sarcasm needs its own font
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?