wrigley field is MILF paradise
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
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once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
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its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now