You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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