He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
