i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
