Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
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It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
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My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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