Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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