Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Tornado booty call.. dedication
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
