i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My hand turned me down
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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