That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
