It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
