What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
we should paint friendship bongs
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