I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
that's an acceptable place to lick
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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