so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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