i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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