Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
