I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Randomize
