i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
