just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
