Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
