i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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