I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
there's paper in my vomit.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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