i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
