i'm lost and i look like a hooker
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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