Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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