dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
