my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We had to coat check the pizza.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
