I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How naked do you want me to be?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize