I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize