It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
