Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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