i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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