i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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