I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
