she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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