I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
