I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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