He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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