Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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