Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
