So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
