8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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