Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
