So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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