Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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