I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize