So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
