if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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