Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is this like a preordered booty call?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
