When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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