Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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