I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize